Top 10 Things to do while the National is opening for Arcade Fire

Matt Berninger, shown here, talking about something called a 

blood buzz that apparently happens in Ohio.

The National are opening up for Arcade Fire for a brief stint, including three shows here in Chicago at the UIC Pavilion and one down in Indianapolis (I'm lucky enough to be attending the Easter Sunday Chicago show and the Indy show at White River State Park).   So, in honor of fellow Indiana native, David Letterman, I've put together a list of the Top 10 things to do while the National is opening.  I love the National's music, and a couple of their members put together one of the greatest compilations of all time (Dark Was the Night), but their lead singer doesn't even sing.  It's just warbled talking over awesome background music.    He makes Johnny Cash's vocal range sound like Jeff Buckley's.  Rumor has it, the band initially just recorded conversations between William Shatner and David Bowie for the vocals on their first album, but they ran into copyright issues.  I heard they also turned to books on tape for vocals, but those just weren't literary enough, so they found this guy.  So here we go...

The Top Ten Things Things While the National 
is Opening for Arcade Fire:

10.  Convince everyone around you that it's not the National opening, but instead, the crowd is supposed to sing a version of "The National Anthem" before Arcade Fire comes out; they just ran out of room to print it all on the ticket.

  9.  Play a game of stadium-wide "I Spy." (If you really want to vex your competition, just say "I spy, with my little eye...a skinny white dude, with a goofy looking haircut" every time).

 8.  Every time Berninger talks between songs, yell "Enough with the a capella!!  Back to the band!"

 7. Bring a bucket.  When he starts singing, sit on the open end and fart into it.  See if the people around can tell which is which.

 6. Start Arcade Fire Oh-oh-oh "Wake Up" chants until your wish finally comes true.

 5.  The National has been closing most sets of late with steady snoozer, "Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks," which Berninger closes with the ever so poignant lyrics "I'll explain everything to the geeks." Cheer for this song (even though the lyrics are so wretched that it may go against the grain in every inch of your heart and soul) until they play it and your wish finally comes true.

 4.   Check out UIC's vaunted basketball heritage in the lobby. (They went to the NIT tournament in 2003!!!)

 3.  Talk along to that one song you know.

 2.  Two words: Stadium Laps.  Get your American flag, take off your shirt, and just run laps around the stadium.  It's great cardio, and what's more NATIONAL than that?

 1.  Drugs.

Have more ideas?  Hit me with them below.